Meet Your Matchmaker
by Wickfield
Summary: Attitudes have changed since Mulan left the army, and she is sick of Ling's brainless flirting. But she knows there has got to be the perfect girl for Ling somewhere, and she's determined to find her - especially since a bet with Shang depends on it!
1. Part One

_**A/N:**__ I wrote this story back in 2008 when I was first branching into fanfiction. This is my first Mulan story, so even though it shares some similarities to "The Flowers of Spring" (which I was planning while I was writing this), there are some differences as well – it's not supposed to exist in quite the same universe. ;) I'm also not sure this story "fits" the Mulan world perfectly – I was inspired to write this after watching Masterpiece Theatre's Jane Austen lineup, so it's sort of like Jane Austen meets ancient China – quite a combo! Anyway, I thought I'd share since I had some requests for more fics, hope you enjoy it!_

**Meet Your Matchmaker**

**Part One**

I often felt sorry for Ling. I know it's the truth that he brings it on himself – he could have been ten times less goofy, or listened more, or done _something _more than he usually did, but I still pitied him. He was very pathetic.

Of course it hadn't always been that way. Right from the first moment I met him – when he thought I was Ping – he was already laughing his head off over the dumbest things and telling the most ridiculous and not exactly tasteful jokes. He was always botching the directions Shang gave him, because he was _always_ in the middle of some prank. And he made things worse by talking about girls as if they were paintings, meant only for looking at (in fact, he had some old drawing tucked in his tunic the entire time he was in combat.)

Then when he found out _I_ was a woman and came to my family's house, Ling really started getting annoying. And creepy. He would stare at me and "flirt" with me. It was a different side of him that was completely disturbing. I might be sitting talking to Yao about weight-lifting or to Chien-Po about lo mein, and out of the corner of my eye I would see Ling edging closer and closer, looking away as soon as I looked at him. It was then I realized what a mistake being kind to him was. That was the reason no girls were nice to him before.

Eventually I just had to yell at him. Sometimes it comes down to that with creepy guys like Ling. He was at my house one afternoon, doing that thing where he would pretend to be looking across the room, yet cutting looks at me whenever he thought he could. I had just had enough.

"Ling!" I said, exasperated, yet calmly as I could, "_what_ are you looking at?"

"Looking at? Me? Come on Mulan, be serious," Ling laughed, getting even closer. I backed away. "Although, the view _is_…"

Oh, what disgusting foolishness.

"Stop staring at me, Ling, and stop flirting with me," I told him firmly. I noticed Chien-Po glancing at me in slight surprise. Yao was egging me on. I just kept talking. "It's annoying."

"I'm annoying?" Ling asked. "Where's your sense of hospitality, Mulan?"

I didn't have an answer for that, and I paused, rapidly trying to think one out. I hated to lose an argument once I started it. Fortunately, Mushu was always around, and right then he was pressed down against my collar. In a high-pitched, feminine-sounding voice he shouted, "Ling, if you don't want to seem like a donkey, quit acting like one."

I covered my mouth in embarrassment and grabbed at the giggling dragon behind my back. I would never have said that! But, oddly enough, it seemed to work. Ling's small eyes opened to their greatest capacity, and then he blinked.

"Gee, sorry, Mulan" he said, and quickly looked down at his feet. "I didn't know I was such a bother."

I was about to apologize, but I worried that would only make things worse and that he would sit next to me for the rest of my life. So I stayed quiet. That was about the extent of the conversation, and I don't think I'd been _too_ mean to him. Still, it seemed like I had hurt him extremely. Surely he didn't _really_ like me! And even if he did, I reasoned with myself, it was by my "good looks" only.

Which really showed what an idiot Ling was.

I decided to talk to Shang about it. He had been coming over unusually often since he had returned as a general. Baba never hesitated to invite him, because he loved discussing strategies and tactics. (I didn't know or use any tactics when I was a soldier, I just ran for my life and hoped for the best, which seemed to work.) It was a good thing Shang had been in the army, because based on his conversation skills and his gift giving alone (one time he actually brought a _candle_ as a gift), he would have never stood a chance.

Lately, though, I would be daydreaming and realize that father wasn't discussing anything after all, and that one by one my family members had silently dropped out of the room, leaving me alone with Shang.

Carrying on a conversation with Shang is usually a bit troublesome. Shang sometimes gets tongue-tied and has a hard time saying what he means. Usually I just finished his sentence for him. Tonight, though, I planned to do all the talking myself.

"I think I hurt Ling's feelings today," I began diffidently.

Shang furrowed his eyebrows. "What was Ling doing here again?"

"He likes me," I said honestly. "I wish he didn't. It's not good for my self-esteem."

Shang laughed. "What did you do about it? I'm sure you had a solution."

"He was…called a donkey," I admitted, making a mental point to get back at Mushu. Shang looked amused.

"That'll work."

"It did, but he looked so upset! I know Ling is…very visually oriented," I said, tactfully, "but he's still human. He still deserves someone. Just not me!"

"Maybe. But I don't know if _anybody_ deserves Ling."

"Yes they do! I'm sure there's some nice girl who would like him. There's someone out there for everyone, you know. It's fate."

"I'm not so sure about that."

I frowned at him. Shang was very levelheaded and critical, which I guess is a good thing, but it sometimes got on my nerves. He didn't have enough faith in fate – or in me. I was about to remind him that he and I met in the army when I was disguised as a boy, but I didn't want to sound presumptuous. I still didn't _really_ know the level of Shang's affections. He's so darn reserved!

Anyway, my opinion showed, because Shang said arrogantly, "I'm sure you think could find a girl for Ling."

I scoffed. "Of course I could!"

"Prove it."

Uh…

"Well, Li Shang, I'm no matchmaker," I replied, haughtily, desperately trying to think of a way to change the subject.

"That you're certainly not," Shang replied, and he looked relieved. "But you joined the military. You saved China – twice. You defeated Shan Yu, the leader of the Huns. I'm sure matchmaking wouldn't be too difficult for you. Or is it?"

"No!" I stared at him for a moment. "I'm just…not good when it comes to 'affairs of the heart'." Shang seemed to be paying attention, so I went on. "It's just sometimes best not to meddle."

"Are you going to do it, or not?" he asked simply.

I sighed, even though I had to admit it sounded like an interesting experiment. "If I did…" I said slowly, "what would be in it for me?"

Shang looked out into space for a long time. "You'll get a gift from me," he answered eventually.

"Gee, thanks." I was thinking of the candle.

"It - it'll be a good one, trust me." Shang stared at me until he caught my eye, and his gaze was much more pleasant than Ling's gawking look. "If you can find a girl for Ling by the end of the week," Shang stated, "you'll win our bet."

"What do _you_ win?" I asked suspiciously.

Shang considered this. "I guess I'll just get to see a very rare sight."

"And what's that?" I asked.

Shang smiled mischievously. "I guess I'll see you fail for once."

-X-

I wasn't planning on failing. "Failing" wasn't in my vocabulary. Apparently, it wasn't in Mushu's either. I decided it wasn't cheating to have Mushu along as a friend, but I should have known better than to ask for his help. Once the little cricket Grandma gave me had chirped him awake, Mushu was set for training.

"Okay, sport, here's how it's all goin' down. First we hit the jewelry vendors. All the girls shop there," Mushu said, studying his checklist. "If we don't find what we're looking for there, we'll move onto the bridge. It goes over a river and girls think that's _so_ romantic."

"It _is_ romantic," I informed him. He gave me a flat look.

"Suuuure. And if we still don't find what we're looking for, we'll go door to door. We're gonna have to hope for the best," he warned me. "Maybe nobody knows who Chuckles is."

I couldn't help but agree. Ling wasn't much. I wondered what he saw in _his _reflection – he seemed to think he was the epitome of manhood.

"Well as long as we find someone who's nice and will laugh at his jokes, I think he'll be set," I reasoned as I pulled back my hair, which had grown out again.

"Except she has to be drop dead gorgeous," Mushu said sarcastically. "Otherwise Ling won't even look at her. If you ask _me,_ he should be happy if he gets _anyone_. A girl would be an _idiot_ to be nice to Ling."

"Thank you, Mushu, that was very helpful."

"Aw, it's nothin'."

I did decide to follow Mushu's advice. It was true that most of the girls in town tended to flock around the jewelry vendors. (Personally, I didn't wear jewelry. I always ended up breaking it.) I noticed one girl right away. She was nice and tall – that would complement Ling's general lankiness – and she seemed to be all smiles – perfect for someone who thought he was as funny as Ling did. I edged my way over, picked up an impossibly delicate-looking necklace, quickly laid it down again for fear I would smash it, then turned casually to the girl.

"Do you like jewelry?" I asked nonchalantly.

She stared at me blankly.

So I never was good at small talk! Give me a break!

"Uh, I have this friend who always wants to buy me jewelry," I improvised. "You'd probably like him a lot…"

"You're Fa Mulan, aren't you?" she asked.

I didn't know whether to say yes or no. Most people didn't want their daughters to talk to me.

"Yes," I admitted, hoping that was the right answer.

"You're the one who just returned from "vacation" a few months ago, aren't you?"

"Yes," I sighed, bracing myself for the customary insult to come.

"And you always have gentlemen coming over, right?"

Now we were getting somewhere. "Yes, yes I do! Have you noticed them?"

"Mmm-hmm. There was the large one, and the shorter stocky one, and that other one."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "He's the one I was talking about!" I said excitedly. "I'm sure you'd like him."  
>"Oh, I already do," she admitted. "I don't live too far from where you live, and I see him come over almost every night."<p>

"Yes, he's very…punctual."

"He always rides up on his horse," she continued dreamily.

I didn't remember Ling riding on a horse – he rode a mule once – but I figured the girl was just love-struck.

"And he's so tall," she went on, "and handsome."

Ling, handsome? She must have been the One.

"I heard someone say," she added confidentially, leaning in as if she were an old friend, "that he's a general in the army."

I was about to suggest she come and visit, but I choked instead, and glared at her. She was talking about Shang!

"Oh, you've got the wrong person," I said stiffly, turning sharply away. She gave me an equally critical look.

"You're not talking about the skinny one, are you?" Her nose wrinkled in disgust. "I wouldn't court him if you paid me!"

She looked thoroughly sickened, and stepped quickly away.

"Strike one," Mushu said.

"Who needed her anyway," I grumbled.

"You're just sore 'cause she likes Shang."

"How dare she like Shang," I grumbled some more.

"He _is_ pretty handsome," Mushu said critically. "But more pretty-boy, y'know, not that rugged manliness like me."

"I guess it's time to go to the bridge," I sighed.

But the bridge, though very beautiful as it curved over the stretch of a blue stream, was not any more helpful. Neither was going door to door. It seemed everyone had seen Ling, and didn't like what they saw. One girl looked promising, but then Mushu exclaimed excitedly in his "manly baritone", and the girl looked at me like I'd grown another head and slammed the door.

By the afternoon, we returned to the village dejectedly, with no luck and no girl even considering Ling for a romance.

"I just don't understand," I insisted. "He's…nice."

"Then why don't you go date him?" Mushu said grumpily, kicking a stone into the street.

"He's not my type," I retorted.

"I'm hungry."

"Then go eat something."

"I'll get squashed by traffic," he threatened.

I groaned, picked him up, and bought him a moon cake at a pastry vendor's cart, hoping to shut him up. I sat on the stairs at the bather's and watched him eat it, growing more depressed every minute. There were tons of girls in the village. How was it possible that not _one _of them would give Ling a second chance?

I was pondering this when I saw a shadow drop over me. I looked up to see Nuan Huo, the young daughter of a rice farmer. Though they usually stayed on their farm just outside the village, every now and then they would sell their goods in the market. Today must have been one of those days.

"Hi Mulan. You look awfully tired," Nuan Huo said kindly, her round, sun-tanned face breaking into a wide and sympathetic smile. "And you look hungry. Would you like a rice cake? Free, of course." She extended her hand, and I took it and stood up. Nuan Huo was a very nice girl. She was one of the few who had never displayed any sense of distrust or suspicion when I returned from my six-month absence. She had even smiled at me that day I botched the matchmaking visit.

"I'm not having much luck today," I explained as she unwrapped a rice cake from her cart. "I was trying to be a "matchmaker" of sorts. I'm looking for a girl for one of my friends."

"Which friend?" She unwrapped a cake for herself and munched at it, looking interested.

I knew better than to even suggest she go with Ling, everyone was usually so disgusted, so I just said, "It's for my friend Ling. He's been kind of lonely since he returned from the war. But it seems he's a – ah – _rare_ kind of guy."

"Is Ling the skinny one?" she asked, pushing her braid off her shoulder.

"Yeah."

"He's the one that's always telling jokes."

"_Always_," I agreed emphatically.

Nuan Huo licked a grain of salt off her finger. "I don't mind Ling."

My mouth dropped open. _That_ was unexpected.

"You _don't_?"

"No! He's a little goofy, maybe, but that's okay." Nuan Huo dusted off her hands and began to restock her boxes of vegetables. "My father likes him well enough. You don't want someone who's serious all the time. At least, if you can help it."

"No, you don't," I said, dazedly. I swiped at my neck as Mushu gouged his little claw into it. I knew exactly what he was thinking. She was the One.

"Would you like to meet Ling?" I asked, hopefully.

She turned to me, a thoroughly frightened look in her eyes, and her face turned red. "Oh, I don't know Mulan. I'm not so – good with men like you are."

Like I said, she was very kind. "Listen, Nuan Huo, Ling is a very crazy kind of guy. Anybody can handle Ling as long as they can put up with some nonsense. There's nothing to be afraid of, I promise. Ling will like you!" Then I thought better. "But of course, that doesn't really matter if you don't like him."

Nuan Huo seemed to be debating the matter in her head as she played with the string of her wide-brimmed straw hat. "But I don't have any fancy clothes. And he's a soldier."

"Nuan Huo," I insisted, stunned at her unusual admiration of Ling. "You can borrow my jewelry – or what's left of it. And besides, I'll be there with you." She looked up at me then, and the frightened look turned to one of resolution.

"All right, Mulan," she nodded. "I trust you."

"That's excellent," I grinned. "I'll bring over my necklaces and earrings. Ling won't know what hit him!"

Nuan Huo waved to me as I waded a path through the crowd of shoppers, but I doubt she saw me grin to myself. Though for a completely different reason, Shang would be _pretty_ surprised himself.

-X-

Nuan Huo would be coming over that afternoon, so I headed straight for my jewelry box and my mother's makeup-pots while Mushu disappeared in the yard with a cracker. I had collected all the necessary items and was on my way out when I smacked into a linen tunic and dropped the rouge pot.

"Oh – Mulan – I – "

"Shang?" I asked, looking up at him in confusion as I stooped to pick up the broken pieces. "What are you doing here?"

Shang looked stricken, as he always did when caught off guard. "Well I – you see, it's sort of – hard to – let me help you – um, I was meaning – " Shang bent over, stood up, rubbed his palms together, and blinked. At this point, Baba appeared in the doorway, making things worse.

"General Li? This is a surprise," he remarked.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir – Honorable Fa Zhou – I was just explaining to Pi – Mu – your daughter that I – " By now Shang's face had turned every color of the rainbow, gone from bright red to white, and was now a flushed cranberry. Father and I waited for him to go on, but he seemed to have forgotten how to speak. "I can't stay long I was just stopping by I hope you're doing well here's a candle have a nice day," he said all in a rush. He stopped, stared a minute, then turned away in apparently some sort of agony.

"He brought…another candle," Baba observed, looking at it curiously.

"Shang!" I called. "Come back tonight – I found a girl for Ling!" Shang turned and nodded, and I watched as he fumbled with the handles to the gate, kicked it when he thought no one was looking, and ducked out.

"I wonder what that was about," I murmured, wishing he had stayed at least long enough for me to gloat over my success. As there was no way of explaining it I shrugged, left Baba with the candle, and noted an odd look on his own face. But Father was always thinking about a lot of things, so I wasn't concerned. I had to find Mushu.

It always seemed Mushu was there when I didn't want him, and disappeared without word when I did, but I finally found him stomping through the front gate. Mushu wore his heart on his sleeve, and expected me at all times to ask what was wrong. Or else he brooded. So I said dutifully, "Mushu, you look upset."

He stopped stomping, looked up, and there was a genuine expression of emotion that surprised me. "Oh, you're just so – "

Mushu began to bawl.

"Mushu, tell me what's wrong!" I pleaded – I'd never seen this before. He threw back his head and howled. "Mushu, please, is Khan making fun of you again?"

"No," Mushu grunted, wiping his eyes on his arm. His eyes suddenly blazed. "I'll kill him! Yeah, that's what I'll do! I'll kill him! I'll get a big rock, and sneak in there at night, and in the morning, bye-bye birdie!"

"_Who_ are you going to kill?" I demanded, shaking Mushu by his tiny shoulders. He looked up at me again, and his eyes filled with water.

"See Mulan, it's somethin' ya just don't – _understand_. I'll be fine. We guardians wear a heavy crown. Figuratively. Cause First Ancestor won't let me _have_ one!"

Mushu, overcome by emotions of all kinds, threw himself on the ground. I picked his dramatically limp body up. "Well I expect you'll get over it," I told him firmly.

"I am _broken_," he informed me. "Just ask Cri-Kee. He knows what happened. _He_ feels my pain."

"Cri-Kee doesn't know Chinese," I reminded Mushu as he slithered into my collar and sulked. I was beginning to wonder what on earth was wrong with everybody – first Shang, then Baba, and now Mushu.

It struck me that we would have no event if the lucky bachelor wasn't invited. I knew the gang often gathered at the local teahouse in the afternoon, and I didn't have any time to waste. But I wasn't _exactly_ supposed to go there by myself. Women weren't allowed inside without a chaperone. I chewed on a strand of my hair, unsure. I had to do it somehow. I had promised Nuan Huo I would introduce her and besides, love might be at stake.

It always shocked me how many men found time to lounge at the teahouse. Ling, Yao and Chien-Po were kind of…lazy anyway, but most of the dozens of patrons were farmers and their occasional wives who should have had crops to get in. I got an ugly look from a few stragglers outside that made me wish I was Ping again, but I ignored it. I glanced at the front door; I would be seen if I tried to sneak in.

There was a large window on the side of the building. It was too high for me to look in, but there were several crates that I quickly climbed up on. When I looked through I could see the three seated, with Chien-Po eating everything in sight, Yao shooting daggers at anyone who looked his way, and Ling talking and gesturing animatedly. He was directly across from me. I waved my arms to try and catch his eye, but he was too absorbed in his story and the serving-girl to notice me. I knocked on the window loudly. That got the attention and odd stares of some, but not my friends. "Ling!" I yelled in despair. As a last resort, I decided to pull my shoe off and use that as a knocker. I balanced on one foot – I wobbled – picked up my other – lost my balance entirely – knocked over the crates, accidentally shouted, set three dogs howling, whacked my head on the fence, and brought all the customers in the teashop running outside to see what the ruckus was about.

Chien-Po walked serenely through the crowd, with Yao and Ling jogging and elbowing their way behind them.

"Gosh, Mulan, what's wrong?" Ling shouted, attracting more attention, as Chien-Po helped me up.

"Outta the way," Yao shouted. "Nothin' to see here!"

Of course that just made everyone look harder, and caused Ling to explode into giggles which he did a bad job of stifling. I glared at him.

"I was trying to get _you_," I hissed, chiding myself for drawing such a crowd when I was disliked enough as it was.

"Me? Why?"

"I found," I sputtered, "a girl who _likes_ you." I might as well have added, 'That's a rarity, you know.'

One at a time the customers began dropping back into the teahouse. But the gang stayed behind.

"A girl? Really?" Ling actually seemed interested.

"Yes. Her name is Nuan Huo."

"How'd you manage that?" Yao demanded.

"She just…seemed to take a liking to Ling," I guessed. Ling scratched his head.

"Is she pretty?"

I blinked. "What?"

"Is. She. Pretty?"

"I don't know," I shook my head. "Why does that matter?"

"So I can, y'know, think of her in my head. What does she look like?" he pressed.

"She's, uh, shorter than I am, and her hair is long – she usually wears it in a braid – "

"What does her father do?"

"He's a farmer."

Ling stopped.

"_Ling_," Chien-Po scolded.

"Come on!" he whined. "You guys are trying to get me eternal happiness! Well I'll be super-happy if she's good-looking!"

"Ling, you're an idiot if you don't even give her a chance," I exclaimed.

"Just one chance," Chien-Po suggested. But Ling just stuck his hands in his pockets.

"A farmer's daughter? That's just not my type," he insisted, as if he had a type other than someone who would put up with him. "And I don't want to _annoy_ someone I probably won't even like." I bristled as he brought back my own words. "Besides," he added, "I've got my eye on another girl."

"Whaddaya talking about? You mean – " Yao began, but Chien-Po elbowed him and looked slightly guilty, and I wondered if they knew who Ling was talking about.

"You don't know what you're missing, Ling," I argued, turning his own words on him. But it was true. Ling didn't know what was best for him. If he would only give the girl a _chance_! Nuan Huo was nice enough to be _ugly_ and still attract suitors, but she wasn't! She just had a soft, natural prettiness about her. Unfortunately, she wasn't flashy enough to catch Ling's attention. Ling would be happily surprised if only he would _listen_.

"Thanks for thinking of me, Mulan, but don't worry," he chuckled. "I can get girls on my own. I mean, they're practically lining up at my door!" He patted my shoulder generously. I shrugged his bony hand off irritably. Success had been so close! The only obstacle was Ling's stubborn confidence.

Ling walked back into the teahouse. Yao and Ling stayed behind.

"He's a moron," Yao announced.

"He doesn't know what's best for him," Chien-Po sighed. "I am acquainted with Nuan Huo – her family makes delicious rice cakes," he added dreamily. "I believe Ling would find true happiness."

"He _will_ like her," I vowed.

"But," Chien-Po went on cautiously, "I don't know if it's best to press it."

"I won't press it too much," I promised. "I'll just help Nuan Huo get his attention."

"It's kinda hard to get a moron's attention," Yao grunted.

"It is," I agreed. "But I can do it."

I knew I could.

-X-

The worst part was explaining it to Nuan Huo without telling an outright lie. Her poor little concerned face was awful when I told her he couldn't make it.

"Is he all right?" she asked quickly, with a look that made my heart sink.

"Oh, don't worry, he's fine," I assured her, looking at the flowers, the sky, anything other than her sincere face.

He was fine. Just an idiot.

"But I don't think he realizes how much you like him. Or how much he would like you. Ling's kind of like that."

"What can we do, do you think?" she asked.

"I don't…know."

We sat there thinking for about five minutes when I heard footsteps coming through the garden. All of a sudden I remembered – I had forgotten to explain to Shang. I excused myself to Nuan Huo then met him at the gate.

"Mulan?" he called. "Ah, there you are!"

"It looks like you're a little less nervous than you were this afternoon," I remarked, walking with him toward the stone bench.

"Yeah," he laughed, embarrassed. "You know how tongue-tied I get. Is that the girl?"

"It is," I said, "but I think I need more time. Ling needs a little…coaxing."

"He wasn't glad you had a date for him?" Shang exclaimed incredulously.

"No! He thinks he can get one himself." By this point we had reached the clearing where I had left Nuan Huo. She immediately stood and bowed, but I could see her studying Shang's feet.

"Shen Nuan Huo, I would like you to meet the honorable General Li Shang of the Imperial Army,." I recited. Not only was it etiquette, Shang also liked for people to know he was a general. Nuan Huo lifted her eyes hesitantly. "It's nice to meet you."

"I was explaining to Shang the troubles we were having," I sighed, plunking down on the bench. Shang sat in between us.

"Ling is a fool for not running to you," Shang said seriously, causing Nuan Huo to burst into nervous giggles.

"It's true!" I protested. "And he will. We just need to get his attention."

I left Shang to make small talk with Nuan Huo as I searched my mind for a solution. I positively refused to give Nuan Huo a makeover – if Ling finally agreed to meet her, but couldn't accept her real beauty, he didn't deserve her. I also didn't want to hurt Nuan Huo. I sullenly turned back to my friends, and then an Idea struck. Shang was nice enough to almost everyone. And Nuan Huo was so sweet she could talk to anyone with the most caring expression. I tried not to let them see me staring, but I pulled on Shang's sleeve. He politely excused himself, then followed me to an area out of hearing distance.

"What is it, Mulan?"

"I have a plan," I said. "Would you be willing to help me?"

He crossed his arms with a smile. "I don't think that was the bargain."

"You know your gift for the bet is nothing spectacular," I began.

"Yes it is!" Shang looked indignant. I tilted my head.

"Besides, we have to keep Nuan Huo's feelings in mind."

"I suppose. What do you want me to do?"

"We're going to make Ling jealous."

"And you want me…"

"To be the other man," I finished proudly. Shang looked at me oddly.

"You're going to try to make Ling think," he said slowly, "that Nuan Huo likes _me_?"

"Yes."

"And that _I_ like Nuan Huo?"

"_Yes._"

Shang looked up in the trees with an expression that concerned me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I don't know, Mulan – I don't think it will be particularly believable."

I realized why he was hesitant. He was a general. He didn't want a young girl – me – to tell him what to do all the time. I backed down.

"You don't have to – if you don't want to," I offered.

But he suddenly looked more concerned that he wouldn't be able to play the other man.

"I'll do it," he said quickly.

I looked up at him gratefully, but not without a bit of confusion. "Thank you. It's for Nuan Huo, and – "

But Shang just looked anxious to end the conversation, so we did. For the rest of the visit, we each talked to Nuan Huo.

Not to each other.


	2. Part Two

**Part Two**

Nuan Huo seemed perfectly pleased at the plan and was eager to start the experiment. The very next day, I met her in the fields outside the village. She had a scythe in her hand from cutting grain, and her straw hat had fallen and was hanging around her neck. She wiped a line of sweat from her forehead, her cheeks bright from the hard work. "I'm ready!" she said eagerly.

"Excellent," I agreed. "I told you – Ling will be burning with envy."

Nuan Huo looked slightly uneasy, but I dragged her to the market place where I knew Yao, Chien-Po, and Ling would be dawdling until lunch.

"Do you see them?" I asked, keeping a close eye on Nuan Huo in the busy square, yet scanning the crowd for the gang.

"There he is – " Nuan Huo said weakly.

"Where?" I tried to look for the dull glow of Ling's yellowish tunic, but instead I saw a bright flash of red.

"Oh, you meant Shang!" I realized.

"What?"

"Oh – General Li – " I said quickly. Nuan Huo nodded and looked up at him riding on Ghengis, his white horse, admiringly, but I scowled at him.

"You weren't supposed to come yet," I whispered. Shang nodded sheepishly.

"Sorry."

If a man like Shang on a white horse like Ghengis could hide in a marketplace without notice, Shang managed it. And it was all done in perfect time, because I soon saw the sun glint of a round dome of bald head.

"Ah, it is our friends!" Chien-Po announced, already bowing to us as he emerged from the crowd. "Greetings, Mulan. And who is this rare flower?" He elbowed Yao, who punched Ling, and all three of them fixed their eyes on Nuan Huo.

"This is Shen Nuan Huo," I said, saving my most disdainful look for Ling.

"Nice to meet ya," he said flatly. "Can we go now?" he whispered to Chien-Po, who frowned at him. I don't think Nuan Huo heard him though. She was growing shyer and shyer with every moment.

"This was the girl I was telling you about, _Ling_," I told him.

Being forced as he was to stay on that spot – by Yao's threat of clobbering – Ling had taken to gaping at Nuan Huo from sheer boredom. "So uh…" he said blandly, "your father is a farmer."

"Yes, he is. But I'd rather talk about you – _sir_ - " Nuan Huo said rapidly. Ling looked all too pleased.

"Okay!" he said. "I'm six foot one, 110 pounds, a year of the horse if you _ever_ saw one, a true specimen – "

"Of toe fungus – " Yao muttered.

"I heard that! _And_," Ling said, with a glare for Yao, "I'm a trained comedian."

"You are?" Nuan Huo said with true interest. Unfortunately, Ling had almost forgotten she was there, he was so engrossed with himself.

"Yep. Have you ever heard the one about the dragon – "

Chien-Po shook his head quickly and I seconded vehemently. I knew the joke.

Heard it in the army when I was Ping.

Wished I hadn't.

"Oh, uh," Ling improvised, "how about – the one with the fish?" He looked at Chien-Po.

"That'll do nicely," Chien-Po said approvingly.

"Okay," Ling said, assuming full joking position in his tilted-lean, "so a fisherman has been in his boat all day – "

Suddenly most of the heads in the market dropped, leaving Ling standing straight up in the middle with his eyes shut, telling his joke. Yao punched him into respect.

"Good afternoon, soldiers," Shang said, in the grand manner that sometimes made me laugh and sometimes made me groan. "Ladies." He looked at me when he was supposed to look at Nuan Huo, so I had to improvise myself.

"Hello, General Li," I said, keeping a close eye on Ling's face for any response. "Nuan Huo, are you ready?"

Nuan Huo seemed unsure which man was greater – her eyes kept swiveling between Ling and Shang. But she did as we had planned, and took Shang's hand as he helped her onto his horse.

Ling's mouth dropped open.

"_She's_ going with the general?" he stuttered in disbelief.

"Yes," I answered.

"B-b-but – why?"

"Because she likes him, I guess," I said lightly.

"_She does_?"

It was all working perfectly, I noted gleefully. Ling seemed dumbfounded that Nuan Huo would go anywhere with anyone other than super-him.

"Good-bye, Nuan Huo!" I waved, as she and Shang galloped away. I turned to Ling again. "It just goes to show, a girl's not going to wait around forever."

"I'm confused," Yao said in a low grunt, looking to Chien-Po for assistance.

"I must admit, I am slightly puzzled myself," Chien-Po whispered, looking to me for assistance.

"Don't worry," I assured them happily. "It's all part of a plan."

Yao nodded, glad to be finished thinking, but Chien-Po was still curious.

"Why did you choose the general as…the other man?"

"Well," I answered, "I knew he would do it."

Chien-Po seemed as if he might say something else, but he didn't. I was glad – I was afraid he might criticize my plan, because he didn't know all the details. I hadn't shared the details with anyone else for fear they would tell. Not even Mushu. In fact, I hadn't talked to him since I had seen him bawling that day in the garden.

The plan, for a while, at least, went smoothly.

-X-

For once, I was glad Ling had recited his daily schedule to me two hundred times every visit. I knew every place he frequented, at every hour, on every day. Ling would be at the teahouse and see Shang give Nuan Huo a flower just outside the window. He would be at the baker's, laughing at Chien-Po's strange excitement, and hear laughter passing by the doorway and a murmured "Shang." I saw every bit of it, because I made a point to be around. Things didn't go quite as smoothly without me. Near the end of the first week, though, I had to send them away by themselves because Mama had guests and forced me to stay.

"Now listen," I said rapidly as I perfected the knot in Shang's cape, "remember what we rehearsed. You walk Nuan Huo by, stop to talk to Ling, talk _tenderly_ to Nuan Huo, get distracted by her beauty, ignore Ling, and walk off. Can you remember?"

"Ouch. Yes," Shang answered, pulling away a bit as I tugged too tightly.

"Do you remember, Nuan Huo?"

"I do," she sighed. "But why is it taking so long, Mulan? Shouldn't Ling notice me by now?"

"He_ does_ notice you," I assured her. "He just hasn't gotten jealous enough to say anything. He's a bit of a scaredy-cat."

"That's not a good thing," Nuan Huo noted quietly.

"Well he's not always. Not when he has something to defend."

"I don't think he's getting the point, Mulan," Shang said, pointedly.

"Well the way I see it – "

"MULAN!"

I winced as I heard my mother call. I had been able to disregard the first five calls, but this was a piercing shriek the whole town could have heard. "FA MULAN! Madam Cho is arriving in FIVE MINUTES and you HAVEN'T BRUSHED YOUR HAIR!"

I looked quickly at my hair and realized it _was_ awfully tangled from where I had been twisting and chewing it. "All right," I told the two quickly, absently putting an end into my mouth as I saw my mother coming out the front door. "You know what to do. Now _go_."

They dashed out at the gate as Mama dashed up to me.

"Come _inside_," she ordered, and I had to follow.

Madam Cho came in fine ceremony. She was a large, magniloquent woman who was not much better than the matchmaker, but instead of spending her visit criticizing me she simply talked all about herself. For instance, by the end of the visit I knew her shoe size, her real hair color, all about her wig collection, the sour pot of makeup she had bought three weeks ago, the hole in her parasol, and how many dates she ate a day. Not that any of that was particularly important or interesting. And apparently I didn't do a good job of hiding my boredom, because Mama sent me out into the garden, speaking through clenched teeth.

While I was there, I couldn't keep myself from fretting over Shang and Nuan Huo. Surely, I reasoned, this must be the day Ling finally broke and revealed his true feelings! I had circled and re-circled the garden for ten minutes, and I knew I had to do something to keep my mind off it until they came back. I figured I should try to find Mushu and see how he was doing, and I was heading toward the family shrine when I heard a faint noise. It sounded like someone crying.

"Mulan?" Shang's voice echoed through the garden. I ran down the pathway to find a pitiful sight. Shang had his arm around Nuan Huo, and her poor brown face was streaked with the tears that were still coursing down her cheeks.

"Oh no. What's wrong?" I exclaimed, leading them toward the stone bench. "What happened?"

"Ling has hurt her feelings," Shang said sharply.

"I'm not the "One", Mulan," Nuan Huo wailed, as I sat down, stunned, beside her.

"No, _he's_ not _your_ one, Nuan Huo," Shang corrected her tenderly. He spread out her shawl and looked at her until she smiled. Then he turned to me.

"We went to your _teahouse_ just like you said," he said, "and Ling was there. We talked briefly to Ling, and then he congratulated us on our happiness, and said he never was much for – " he eyed Nuan Huo sadly – "farm girls. It seems he's found true love on his own."

"He hates me!" Nuan Huo sobbed.

"No, he doesn't." The girl buried her face in Shang's shoulder, and he patted her own shoulder tenderly. "I'm taking her home, Mulan. There's been enough matchmaking for one day."

Shang carefully helped the heartbroken Nuan Huo to her feet, and without another look at me, he led her out of the garden.

I was speechless. Things had not worked out how they were supposed to at _all_. Ling had missed his golden oppurtunity, and had broken the heart of this poor girl in the process. On _purpose_, no less!

He deserved a little talk.

Ling was still lazing at the teahouse, and even though I couldn't go inside I walked right up to the doorway. "Ling!" I shouted, and all the customers looked at him, "I have something to say to you!"

Yao kicked him forward and he stumbled out of the door, but he didn't look the least bit guilty. Rather, he looked completely confused.

"What is it?" Ling blinked at me, and it was then I noticed a very _very_ white girl hanging inside the doorway. Ling caught my glance, and said proudly, "This is the girl I was telling you about, Mulan. Mulan, meet Jin Xiu."

Jin Xiu rolled her eyes at Ling, but he didn't notice, he was too busy grinning. The girl was as twisted, tied, painted up, stuffed out, pinched, poked, squeezed, sparkling, and thoroughly unnatural-looking as a human could be. She was tall and painted as white as a teapot. She stood stiffly in the doorway, looking ready to get away from Ling, yet fingering a necklace around her neck.

"Yeah, I bought her that necklace," Ling informed me, "and that comb, and the earrings, and the fan, and a few rings, but she's not wearing those today."

When all the jewelry was described Jin Xiu looked more interested, and a little greedy, and I knew what she was after – not Ling, just Ling's money and all the jewels it could buy. And Ling didn't have a lot of money. At the rate he was falling in love, it would soon run out.

I looked Ling in the eye. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure. Be right back," he promised his darling, with a lovesick look in his eye that turned to just regular sick when he turned to face me.

"Uh, what is it?" he asked warily.

"You've been irreparably _mean_ to Nuan Huo," I told him in my fiercest tone. "You've broken her heart!"

He jumped at the sheer force. "What are you _talking_ about?"

"Today? When Shang and Nuan Huo were here? You called her a farm girl!"

"She…uh… in case you didn't notice…uh, _is_ a farm girl."

I was so angry with him I stomped my foot. Ling looked completely bewildered. "How did _I_ break her heart? She doesn't even like me! She likes Shang!"

I groaned. "I was _conning_ you, Ling! She was conning you! We were all conning you! Nuan Huo doesn't really like Shang! It was all a plot to make you jealous!"

"That was a _con_?" Ling uttered in surprise. "Wow. I mean, I figured it would be a con at first, cause I thought, y'know, you liked the general. Guess I was wrong about that, 'cause _man_! They were really convincing! I think you might have made a match, just not for me!"

He laughed, but it slowly faded away as I glared at him.

"Besides, I already told you," Ling faltered now, "I didn't like her! I was nice to her the other day in the marketplace, but I was just being, y'know, polite. Why did you try to make me jealous?"

"You didn't understand. You won't be happy with anyone else!"

"I _am_ happy, Mulan. I met a wonderful girl. She's a knockout, and she wears the stuff I buy her, and she doesn't smack me every five minutes. Don't you see? It's a perfect match. We're happy, and that farmer girl was happy too, until you tried to convince her I loved her or something. _I'm_ so happy I could skip through a meadow. You know any good meadows? Anyways, the point is that Nuan Huo never came after me before. She wouldn't have come after me now, if you hadn't made her. I was just being myself, and you pushed her in the ring. As far as I can see, Mulan, it was _you _who got her heart broken."

And then he _shrugged_ and started to _whistle_!

I looked at him in disbelief. I would have slapped him, except he had been slapped so many times he was immune to it. But I slowly began to realize everything Ling said was true. He had never indicated tender feelings toward Nuan Huo. And he made that clear to me. _I_ was the one who had convinced her otherwise. _I_ was the one set on seeing them a match. And why? I realized it wasn't really for Nuan Huo's happiness at all. It was so I could win a bet!

Win a bet with Shang, who, according to Ling and his newfound wisdom, had been… But not that I had any reason to be upset. Shang had never declared his feelings for _me_.

I put my hand on my forehead, and Ling stopped whistling to ask, "Gee, are you okay?"

"Shut up." I positively yanked on my hair as I twisted it around my wrist. "You are…Ling, you're making a big mistake with this girl you're after. You're going to end up hurt, too. That's the last thing I'm saying about it."

I turned to go, but I just had to ask him one last thing. "Ling? What…exactly…made you think that Shang and Nuan Huo, were…"

"It just sort of looked that way," Ling said, carefully. "Y'know, they were always walking together, and he would buy her stuff, and she pinned a flower to his cape, stuff like that. You don't look so good, Mulan. Do you need any help?"

I couldn't answer him. My head was swimming.

Everything from my last two conversations kept ricocheting inside my head as I stumbled my way home. Shang and Nuan Huo seemed like a couple that went beyond the con. I hated myself for letting them go, just the two of them. I strongly disliked Nuan Huo – how dare she like Shang!

And then I turned fiercely on myself, trying to remember that it wasn't as if I _owned_ Shang at all. As far as Nuan Huo was concerned, Shang and I were just friends. Maybe as far as Shang was concerned, too.

Why did I keep calling him Shang? We shouldn't have been that familiar!

Of course, I did save his life like, three times.

But that wasn't the point!

And then I was worried for Ling. He _had_ been mean, but he hadn't meant to, exactly. He had always been tactless. I should have known he would be no different with Nuan Huo. And now, he was going to have his heart broken by that greedy Jin Xiu!

_Then_ I remembered how heartbroken Nuan Huo was, and how Shang had cared for her, and how they really must have been happy together. And I sighed, knowing that, to do the right thing, I should congratulate them. After all, I had caused Nuan Huo to suscept herself to Ling's criticism. I had upset her self-image, and made her feel worthless – they way I had once felt. I had splashed through her reflection and left her in teardrops. And I had blamed everything and everyone but myself. I owed her something.

_Not that Shang was mine to give!_

Meanwhile, my hair had been twisted, pulled, gnawed, tangled, practically everything but set on fire as I debated what to do. I knew what was right. Congratulate Shang and Nuan Huo on their happiness.

I assumed Shang and Nuan Huo would be at the farmhouse outside the village. Shang had said he would take her home, and maybe they were both still there, even though two hours had probably passed and dusk had already fallen as I strayed back and forth in my confusion. That meant I would have to double-back and walk for about two miles. At least I was wearing my walking shoes.

I had utterly determined in myself, and had gone a good quarter-mile, when I reached the lily pond.

Oh, that bridge. I had described it as the epitome of romance to Mushu, and it certainly was. For me just then, however, the lilies gliding effortlessly over the smooth top of the lake was simply calming. I leaned over the edge, snagging my sleeves on the weathered wood that created its arched sides, and found another image of me, trembling in the water below.

As I stood there, nearly beginning to tremble myself, I heard someone coming through the brush a little way down the path. Hopefully it would be a stranger I didn't have to talk to. I could just bow my head, and hide my distress. There was no such luck; I turned and saw Ling rambling my way. He seemed as shocked to see me as I was upset to see him.

"Uh, hi Mulan," he stumbled. At first I thought he had caught the look on my face; then I realized his eyes were cast down and he was thinking himself. "I didn't, y'know, expect to see you – " He seemed unsure whether to turn back or to go on. Eventually he decided to attempt squeezing past me on the narrow bridge. "'Scuse me. Oh, gee, that was really an accident! Sorry!" Finally he stopped, sighed, and turned to face me. "Guess I'm gonna have to tell you sooner or later."

"What?" I asked, wearily.

"See," Ling said, looking up in the sky as if he saw something, "you know Jin Xiu?"

"Yeah."

"Well, see, I sort of spent the rest of my pay today, and she sort of dumped me."

"Oh, Ling!" I exclaimed, truly sorry for him. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," he said, laughing dryly. "I guess I should have listened to you. I've been a real doofus."

Not exactly eloquent, but it got the meaning across.

"Well, a jerk," he corrected himself. "Like you said, I wouldn't know a good thing if it bit me on the nose. And with my nose – that would hurt!" He shook his head. "I finally got what you said. I guess you can't have a pretty face and a good character at the same time."

"Thanks," I said flatly. "I think you mean you wouldn't want a pretty face if there was nothing good inside."

"I dunno. Anyway, I was going to see Nuan Huo. Do you think it's too late?"

"I really do," I admitted, and it brought back the awful realization. "I think – like _you_ said – she and Shang, sort of have a thing going."

"I thought you liked Shang," Ling said, coming to lean on the side of the bridge.

"I did. But he never actually _said_ anything to me." I felt odd discussing this with Ling, but he really seemed to be listening.

"I though he liked you too," he told me truthfully. "Maybe I was wrong. I don't know. It looks like we've both been dumped."

I didn't like what he said, though I had to admit it was true.

"So here we are," he said, "just a couple a' losers."

"Yeah."

"Just a couple a' losers, alone on a bridge."

"Mm-hm."

"Just a couple a' losers, alone on a bridge and nothing to do."

"Nothing," I agreed.

"So, uh, how 'bout you and I go – "

"No."

"Right," Ling sighed.

So there we were both leaning over the bridge – I was looking in the water, and Ling was leaning backwards, looking up into the sky at the moon barely beginning to show over the trees, when suddenly his head cocked up. "Hark," he said in a flat joke. "Someone cometh."

We both turned to listen, trying to tell where it came from. It seemed to be coming from the direction my house was in.

"It's just a horse," Ling said, without interest.

A horse?

I tried to push my own interest out of my head – after all, I _was_ heartbroken – and I turned to watch a lily pad. But the insistent beat of hooves echoed closer and closer.

"Wonder what the emergency is," Ling said.

"I don't know," I answered breathlessly. _It couldn't be…_

Of course not.

But it was.

"Mulan? Mulan!"

There was the flash of red, the even voice made fast by speed and excitement, and Li Shang appeared out of the brush. "I finally found you! Where did you go?" He reared Ghengis to a halt, slid expertly off the saddle, and rushed up to me. "You just disappeared!"

"What are you talking about, General Li?" I said, trying to keep the excitement – and nervous shake – out of my own voice. He looked at me, clearly puzzled.

"General?"

"Hel_lo_,:" Ling exclaimed. "I'm right here!"

Shang ignored him. "Why are you being so formal, Mulan?"

"I don't…know," I answered. "Why shouldn't I be?"

"Because you never were before."

I vaguely became aware that Ling was waving his arms or something, attempting to get attention. When he failed, he left us alone and walked down the path a bit. Shang was still struggling to get an explanation from my face, which I kept turned toward the river for fear of crying.

"I – I meant to congratulate you and Nuan Huo," I said shakily, chiding myself for being so selfishly and weakly emotional.

"Are you serious?"

I looked up at him, and he was staring down at me in disbelief. "You thought I liked Nuan Huo?"

"Didn't you?" I faltered. "I mean you were so nice to her – "

"No! No I didn't like her – as a friend, I mean, I don't hate her – What made you think that I liked her? It was all part of YOUR plan to make Ling jealous!"

"But I thought – Ling said – "

"Since when did you start believing what Ling said?" Shang asked.

I didn't have an answer. "I don't know – I just thought…"

Well now on top of it all, I looked like an idiot. I turned sharply toward the river, but Shang stared at me until he made me look at his face.

"Mulan," he began seriously, "you know that I can't – that I have a hard time – that I don't always say what I mean," he fumbled, "but why would you think that I had romantic feelings for Nuan Huo?"

"I don't know," I whispered again. "I just – "

"Nuan Huo's not – well I mean, she's okay – she's a fine girl, but she is, as Ling so eloquently put it, a farm girl. She doesn't have great aspirations. She doesn't really care to find what's beyond those grain fields. That's why I'm going to introduce her to a farmer I know. I certainly won't try to be a matchmaker – I've learned what that causes, through you," he smiled. "But I think she'll like him."

"I'm never doing that again!" I said emphatically. "It's brought nothing but problems for everyone!"

"What problems? I know Nuan Huo now, and I can introduce her to a friend. _I'm_ none the worse. You might feel like a fool because of a mistake, but it's really nothing terrible. Even so," Shang continued ruefully. "I encouraged you to do it. You said yourself you weren't good at matters of the heart."

I was beginning to feel much better. I didn't find my eyes stuck on the river, I was able to look fully into Shang's eyes. I wasn't so despairing. I even managed to laugh. "I guess I lost the bet," I said with a smile.

"Yeah, well watching you fail is not as exciting as I thought," Shang told me. "So I'll give you that gift anyway."

"No," I protested. "I didn't win it fairly! Don't – " I trailed off as Shang took my hands in his.

"Mulan – you know that day…uh…that day I got so embarrassed at your house?"

"That day I came out of the kitchen?" I asked faintly.

"Yes. Yes. I was – I wanted – I intended to ask your father a question. I wanted to ask him – Mulan, would you…" He paused, looking at me entreatingly, hoping I would finish for him.

But I was going to let him finish it himself.

"Mulan, would you give me the honor of marrying you?"

"Yes," I said. And it was as simple as that.

Shang broke into the most pleased smile I had ever seen on his usually placid face. "Let's go tell your family," he said, excitedly, fumbling with the straps as he arranged Ghengis' saddle and led him partway down to a wider area in the path.

I began to follow. I felt _so_ much better. Just as Shang said – it had all worked out, more or less, for good. Of course, I was never going to try matchmaking again – I had learned my lesson. But Nuan Huo might meet a farmer she could love and who would love her. Shang had found his voice, and had finally declared his feelings for me. That was what had made Mushu so angry that day, I remembered – he always had been rather protective over me, and I would have to go console him and tell him I would always listen to what he had to say. And as for me? I finally knew how Shang felt for me, and that was enough. It was a happy ending for everyone.

Almost everyone.

As I followed Shang, who was trying to get Ghengis moving, I bit my lip and turned back. Ling had returned, and was still leaning over the bridge. But he wasn't looking at the sky anymore. He was dropping pebbles in the water, and watching as they splashed through his reflection. He hadn't found true love, I though sadly. He hadn't listened to advice, and he made himself feel like a fool – like I had. I truly believed that this lesson would do him good, and could somehow help him find the pale, bright-eyed girl he hoped for. But despite all my wishes, and beliefs, and attempts, I hadn't found a girl for Ling. Ling had had no happy ending, even though he really deserved it just as much as I did.

And I still felt sorry for him.

_**A/N:** Here's a preview for my next Mulan fic - comment and let me know what you think!_

**MULAN: HOUSE OF LOTUS**

Mulan and her friends have been invited to the exquisite Imperial City to celebrate Mulan's heroism, but they soon find things are not as they seem - and when the Emperor is nearly killed in an assassination plot, it appears the mysterious House of Lotus actors may have played a dangerous role.


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